My Independence Day

July 4, 2010 § Leave a comment

A fore note:

The lighter side of this post

To all the SOB mosquitoes out there who may come across my blog.  It is not OK to mess with me and my skin during my run. It’s hard enough to get my fat ass out of bed at 5AM to exercise let alone get swarmed by you and your disease ridden cousins. Think of me when you meet this in my backyard.

Independence Run

I started this Independence Day off right; with a sweet run.  Just finished my C25K intervals for the day and while I wasn’t too thrilled about starting at 5:30 AM, I got ‘er done.  As warm and fuzzy as this sounds (mind you, I am not a warm and fuzzy kind of person) it was such a welcome release.  I hate being a sap but I found it invigorating – ugh, too cheesy calming to run in my quiet neighborhood with the summer time baby rabbits hopping around and the little drops of dew across my neighborhood’s landscape.  It was sort of celebration of my independence as I ran step after step.  Loved it.

The somber part of this post

My internship year has started with a month at the VA.  I love my patients.  I hate seeing them sick, but I have such respect for them and what they’ve done that it makes work that much more interesting.  That being said, while I was on my run I started thinking about the above paragraph,  my thoughts took a sad turn and I remembered reading this article last night about the tragedies and triumphs that befell a young vet.  After I dwelled on that for a bit, it then hit me hard to realize that I had requested today off to attend my dear friend’s wedding.  That sort of crushed me a bit and I almost felt myself dumping a guilt bucket over myself.  I wasn’t going to work today. I wasn’t going to be able to take 4 am pages about blood pressures or put my stethoscope on the chest of the men and women who took their time to do so much for us.  Yuck.  I didn’t feel all warm and fuzzy anymore. I felt like shit. This is was what dawned on my while I was out celebrating that independence I talked about.  This didn’t sit well with me.  I’m not sure how I’ll get over the guilt but I know they’ll be well taken care of by the residents that are working tonight and I’ll be sure to think of them throughout the day, honoring them the best I can in light of the selfish decision I made.

How are you all celebrating your independence and honoring the vets?

Happy Independence Day 🙂

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