July 1, 2010 § 2 Comments
Unofficial Day one as an intern is over. Tonight’s the balls- to- the -wall-official night. Not gonna lie, it wasn’t at all what I expected but it was a relatively chill night. Still testing the waters. Hoping I chose the right specialty…hoping I’m smart enough to get thru this….hoping I don’t screw up. I’m afraid I won’t be hard working or diligent enough. I still haven’t quite figured out what the model intern is but I hope to be as close to it as I can by an early point….don’t know how to get there tho. I don’t even know what the generic “hard working” means…it’s so different in the real world vs the student world. Responsibility and becoming an adult are not fun life transitions when you hit the ground running at full speed. It’s like NASCAR meets Adderall. maybe I am too tired and cranky to write. I did learn a few things about myself tonight…
I seriously glaze over anything I read, regardless of the weight it carries – especially at 4 am
questioning how smart I really am….I feel like I’ve forgotten it ALL
all interns are created equal, especially during the first week. We all feel so dumb.
snacking on small protein-laden, high omega 3, and/or fruits every three hours prevents my inner bitch from surfacing, especially if it is covered in dark chocolate
I’m going to relinquish my hatred for scrubs. I felt like a jack ass in my little pink v-neck sweater and khakis that are now 2 sizes too big.
surprisingly it’s not as difficult to smile all night as I thought it would be.
I can sleep better knowing that I have very bright residents willing to take the time to make sure I am comfortable, accurate, and help me whenever I need. I’m really lucky in that respect.
I have a seriously kick-ass intern class
I don’t like new computer systems. Not at all.
I still feel awkward when I’m referred to as “doctor”. That’s going to take some getting used to. Basically, I don’t think I deserve the title considering how little I know and how dumb I feel.
That’s about it for now. I’m pretty beat. Might head to the gym for my run, but we’ll see.
I’m not even sure if this made any sense. Sorry ’bout that.