Muffin Top Motivation

Oh Boy 😦

Awesome. Up 17 pounds since June.  Was/am very down about this, self-pity, possibly a lick of seasonal affective d/o (?), absolutely zero motivation to control my weight.  I’m a chronic complainer but non-action-er; not a good trait with those important things in life.  Last time I posted, my goal was to track on sparkpeople and get more yoga in my schedule.  Since then, I’ve barely gone to yoga but a handful of times despite an astronomical monthly fee, joined another gym closer to work, and continued to eat like a boar, not to mention failing to track meals.  Recipe for shitfest.

I do not respond well to non-constructive, insulting criticism as noted in my first post, so I’ve been exquisitely lucky to have an incredibly encouraging, loving, and motivating (OXFORD COMMA, HA!) boyfriend this time around.  He reminds me daily that I’m beautiful just the way I am but I absolutely do not feel beautiful.  My clothes are even tighter, my face is more full, and I’m always exhausted, spiraling into even lower level of motivation. I feel like a failure with every look in the mirror or put on a pair of jeans. Forget the skinny jeans.  Vicious cycle.  Oh, and my appetite is atrocious. I could eat another full meal right after finishing one, always have room for dessert, and have been cooking even more non-healthful recipes…mainly butter-laden junk.  It’s awful.

Well, thanks to my sister’s awesome boyfriend, I changed gym locations and even had a personal training session…Meh.  What felt amazing was going to the gym and creating my own workout routine last night.  I haven’t been this excited to exercise or take care of my health in a LONG time.  Feels so good to have that motivation back.  Thankfully, I have an incredibly supportive family who will need to heavily rely on for continuing motivation and healthful habits.  Will continue with the Hot Yoga but discontinuing the renewal membership at the end of the month.  Continuing with the gym and home work outs when needed.  Found some great FREE workouts from women’s health and fitness mag…they will be a staple.  Might even re-join weightwatchers with my mom.

wish me luck!

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