I am what I eat
July 11, 2010 § 5 Comments
I feel so gross. Residency finally started and I’m working night float so that means I’m not really eating much because I’ve never been a night eater, right? I thought that when I shifted my sleep schedule that I’d also eat much less and I’d be busy enough to stave off cravings. I couldn’t have been further off. The only accurate part is that I’m not, or at least I didn’t think I was, a nighttime snacker. Working nights has made me soft, literally. Some how I’m hungry every hour. I have been trying to stick within my WW points and pack little 4-point almond butter and banana sandwiches, apple, greek yogurt with granola and fruit, and by sticking to my all bran in the AM. I have even stuck with my eating every three hours rule and have an eating schedule planned out in my head. None of this is helping. For some reason I’ve re-developed my love handles and my abdomen looks like something I’ve only come across on maternity units. My measured weight is actually continuing to decrease while my image in the mirror is NOT what is was when I graduated last month.
I’ve been eating so much more…and not just when I’m at work, it’s mainly when I wake up in the afternoon. I’ve completely let myself go to the point I had TacoBell two times last week while hanging out with the little bad influence Runt-my sister. I hadn’t touched bad-for-you-nutrient-deplete fast food in months. MONTHS. Then she introduced me to the crunch wrap supreme. 12 fucking points. 12!!!!! Mind you, this was at 1 a.m. It’s been downhill from there. I had tiramisu, went to a wedding and had cake and a cannoli, multiple sweet mixed drinks, I’ve even gone back for more TacoBell.
I miss my last few months of people making fun of me for eating so healthfully and for my self-control around desserts/junk at work. I’ve never had control like that before. As much as I say I want to get back where I was with my self control i feel like it won’t be as easy this time because i don’t have a particular goal. Last time it was that I didn’t want my classmates seeing me as a fatty at graduation. I haven’t been able to find a new short term fitness goal. I know this is what works best for me.
The only thing I’ve go going for me lately is that I’ve been exercising A LOT lately. I’ve been doubling up on spin and running; a little speed-junkie I guess. The only thing I really miss is my hot yoga… and I guess pilates. I’m pretty sure those were the two things that really helped me tighten up and tone…the only issue is that I can’t afford the Bikram anymore and I have no patience for pilates. It’s just not what I need these days. I’ve got to get back into it.
I need some tips and encouragement/motivation ASAP.
happy Eating…. 🙂